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there’s no going back

there’s no going back. these were the words spoken from a woman in circle reckoning with the reality of life. they came as she shared the story of catching a glimpse of her aging body in the mirror of a dressing room as she tried on a swim suit–her body’s image revealing the changes that have come with living.

tears came on the wings of the words that followed: there’s no going back.

Octavia Butler’s phrase, “God is change” immediately came to mind. to be human–to be alive–is to participate in this change. the dance of participation has a particular and changing rhythm that involves mutuality and relationship. there’s movement.

and to be a participant in life is to appreciate all that has come before–the things done and left undone. all has purpose.

thanks to imperial consciousness and inverted stories from westernized religion and culture, there are deeply entrenched stories of fall and redemption. we (humans) are cast as inherently bad, incapable of saving ourselves from sin so that Jesus came to save us. these stories of redemption are lies and are symptoms of pain not transformed, that have festered in the wounds generating shame/blame/guilt.

there is no course-correction needed. it is all necessary because it all brings us to this moment of choice.

there is no going back.

no need. no reason. it has all served and grown and moved us.

pain offers an intimate encounter with divine love. as we encounter this love, we get to choose: who are we, now? who do we want to be? do we consent to participating in the outpouring of love? consent connects us to a universal and eternal story, drawing us into active participation in the story of the cosmos.

and, we get to choose.

shortly following the circle, the woman wondered on Facebook if she’d experienced a “breakthrough” in that moment. in her accepting the pain of the reality that there is no going back.

in the preparation for holy week, i’m grateful for those who continue to show me the path of transformation: that our human suffering allows the experience of divine love, life, and liberation.

and the reminder of the power of choice.

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