wtf

these days are full uncertainty. full of witnessing those who are disadvantaged being disadvantaged. full of sacrificing the many for the fewer of us. full of enjoying privilege at the cost of those marginalized. full of interconnectedness, globally.

in many ways, nothing has changed.

and so much has. we can’t reach out and touch those we love without a second-guess. we can’t participate in the daily routines that have filled our days. we can’t gather today with other humans in the ways we have. we can’t rely on the systems to serve in the ways they have (for some of us). we can’t “do right” in the same ways we have.

can we just hold a collective wtf? i want to hold this together. i want to whisper it, then scream it, then utter it over and over and over again. and then maybe again.

i want to hold the wtf and feel it deep in my bones, in my gut. i want to weep and wail and rage against it. WTF?

wtf is happening? wtf are we doing? wtf have we done to get to this point? wtf do we want to be? wtf am i? (yeah, that last one: who tf?)

there are no answers, for now. there’s no way to know where we will be “after”. there’s no way to predict or plan or prepare.

we can be present. if we choose. and “wtf” is a key into that presence.

here’s a bit of wisdom: “somehow someone needs to finally encourage us to be inquisitive about this unknown territory and about the answerable questions of what’s going to happen next…in that awkward, ambiguous moment is our own wisdom mind. Right there in the uncertainty of everyday chaos is our own wisdom mind.” (pema chodron, “when things fall apart“)

so…let’s be inquisitive and hold the answerable questions. can we hold it together?

it feels so impossible to do. to simply hold that question.

we want to turn away. solve the problems. fix the shit. it hurts too much to be with it.

wtf?